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New Ordinance Legalizes Lynching Inconsiderate Boat Ramp Users

Scum of the earth, we all know them. The dude that tells you “had trailer here first” as he butts in your way of loading up your boat. The one that whips his double jet skis down in the middle of the goddamn ramp taking up space for two boats. He slowly unloads, takes a phone call before finishing, then looks at you like you’re the asshole when you call him out.

These types are nothing but a drag on society as a whole. In a near unanimous decision, both ends of congress have signed into law a first of its kind. Never before has a legal means to lynch anyone existed within the United States. But if there’s anyone that deserves it, it’s these assholes.